This next example tells about a girl who is triggered by certain things people say to her.
Misty was sexually abused by her brother Jay when she was 7 years old.
Jay always used to tell her that he never would have had sex with her if it wasn't for the fact
that she was so pretty.
He used to tell her that she was so pretty he just couldn't help himself around her,
and then he would molest her.
Misty is 15 now, and whenever a guy tells her she is pretty, Misty feels uncomfortable
around him and kind of afraid.
Being told she is pretty is a trigger for Misty because it's something she was told by her offender every time she was molested by him.
- The survivor's guide, sharice A.Lee, Sage, 1995, p6, l20~p7, l8
나는 나를 좋아하는 남자가 싫다.
뭔가,
'징그럽다.'
왜 그럴까 생각해봤는데 아마 여기서 말하는 trigger가 아닐까 싶다.
자신이 예쁘다고 하는 남자가 불편한 Misty처럼,
나도 내가 좋다는 남자가 불편하다.
왜냐하면 아빠는 늘 나를 사랑한다, 내가 좋다, 고 말했기 때문이다.
그리고 내가 남자친구를 사귀면 질투를 했으며,
초등학생 때 남자친구를 줄 학을 접고 있는 나에게 아빠는
빨리 안 치우면 창밖으로 모두 던져버리겠다고 말했다.
지금도 나는 누가 나한테 호감을 보이는 조짐이 보이면 슬슬 피한다.
징그럽기 때문이다.
trigger임을 알아차리면 조금 나아지겠지.
누군가 나를 좋아한다는 건 아주 좋은 일인데,
그걸 징그럽게 느낀다는 건 좀 안타까우니까.
편하게 느낄 수 있게 되었으면 좋겠다.
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