우연찮게..사촌동생한테..오빠얘길들었어...사촌동생이..남자친구랑같이옷사러동대문에갔다가..우연히..여자친구랑같이있던..오빨봤다구..진짜세상좁다는거알겠더라..어떡게그늦은시간에사람많은동대문에서사촌동생이랑만날수있었는지..나정말루..오빠때문에정말힘들었어...내가그렇게깬다구날리칠때..오빠가그러지못하게막았자너...근데..사촌동생생일날..아니오빠생일날..기분좋게건대갔는데...그렇게갔는데.....
어떡게그렇게할수가있어??깨지자는말두...오빠가하면...믿길텐데...친구한테..어떡게그런말을대신해달라구할수가있냐구...나정말그말듣구못믿었던거아러??그말듣구...그렇게오빠보니깐..왠지..내가더오빠얼굴못쳐다보겠더라구...그말듣구건대가서..오빠안쳐볼려구계속딴데쳐다보다가...우연히오빠랑눈마두쳤을때,,,정말...오빠가미웠어..정말...정말루마니...그날오빠가구서...선배형들이랑..술먹으면서...오빠때문에얼마나마니운줄아러??오빠정말나쁜사람이라는생각마니했어...하지만...그일있구벌써8개월정도지난지금은....오빠잊기까지정말힘들었지만...그치만..좋은추억으루간직하구있어....그땐어쩔수없었던상황이라생각하고....지금아무렇지않게말하지만..나두오빠랑똑같은양다리상태여서오빠랑깰려구했어...하지만...차마깨진못하겠더라..왜냐구??그렇게텍텍데던오빠한테왠지모르게자꾸끌려서...그래서..그랬어...그래...오빠두..어쩔수없었겠지...한사람만선택해야하는...그런상황이었구...그랬었으니까...,하지만...가끔가다오빠가너무마니생각나구..너무보구싶어서...눈물이나...오빠는이런내맘알까??솔찍히다른사람들이오빠얘기하면태연학척얘기하지만..뒤돌아서서..얼마나마니우는줄아러??솔찍히이런내가답답하긴한데....울면서항상생각해...울구...맘속에서오빠잊자구...하지만..힘들거나...다른남자들만날때마다..오빠가문득문득떠올른다..,아마내가오빠한테첨으루사랑이란감정느껴서그랬나봐...,,
사촌동생이오빠마니변했다구하더라...마니착해졌다구...여자친구한테잘해주겠지??그렇겟지..오빠가누군데...글구..그여자친구이쁘겠지??나랑깨구.,,사귄애두이뻤자너...오빠야...어디서몰하는진모르지만...항상건강하구...그리구...여자친구한테잘해줘...맘다치지않게...
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