I had a dream last night.
I was shopping..grocery shopping at this big supermarket, trying to find the drinks I really dig these days..
I wanted to buy it in bulk so I was looking for one of the staffs shelving items.
I asked for boxes of the stuff and left my number to call me when its in stock. Then I paid for what I got at the cashier and as I was just leaving for my car I bumped into this guy I know from church. Strange thing was..he was really happy to see me like beyond just happy, he was almost ecstatic.
Then suddenly we're like a couple. How odd considering he's happily married. No, I take that back, just married. I don't remember the last time I met a happily married couple..so..
Anyhow he seemed very very warm..
Then it hit me...all I ask for in a man is this feeling of warmth..that cuddly soft warming sensation from soul to heart..heart warming downy feeling...that was what I've always wanted in a relationship...not sex, but that warmth afterwards..
If you ask me why I'm never married cuz I rarely see happily married people.
Most married men disgusted me with their lustful gazes on me and most married women disgusted me with their unjustified irrational hatred toward me. So I wouldn''t trade my liberty for such nonsensical transformation. Besides I never had enough time to myself I never wanted share it with someone. Sorry if and when I'm not too busy..
I never felt envious towards happy couples because they never looked truly happy..really..
And I really want to be happy.
Growing up witnessing less than ideal family environment my view towards marriage became not too optimistic..
I was pretty content with what I've got and didn't wanna risk that..
Maybe I still don't...I don't know..
It was just it felt really nice in the dream...
That warmth from another soul I almost forgot about..
Then I saw bizzy in the dream I guess because I've been watching show me the money lately.
Well he was less than gentlemenly in the dream tho I'm still impressed by his talent.
I don't understand this culture, the culture that puts so much value and emphasis on youth. Ha! How stupid is that?
Do they really think youth has any characteristic admirable? Other than being young and inexperienced literally?
You know what I think?
I think people are being programmed and dumbed down. Youth, idols, money..
All the stuff media is rubbing in your face.
Come on people, stop watching tv and pick up a book for a change.
You know whay I think this leads to? All the praise about being young and worshipping and admiring youth, youngness? Ultimately it'll open up road to pedophilia. Yuk! Gross!
You think I'm being extreme? Well look around the world we're living in..